Adrienneknott

My fluidity is drawn down by the gravity of not knowing I am flowing into a state of constant descent to you Do I really believe that reason can repel? Is it so reliant on a conclusion? My fear is diminishing though dormant Due to be awakened Reaching out of the blue To me from you A hiernal shudder A familiar voice? A problem already solved? How can I force this cause to close? On a whim volition brings closure To you, and I am roused to fly or fight To detect the true intent To watch 360 A swinging door I thought I had the power to shut The harder I push the stronger the pushback

4. Splashed awake in the shallow boardwalk water. This edge of the ocean that halts to a stop at a man-made border. I’m with the other-worldly but less-distant part of me shaped as a large fish with a gaping mouth and i’m flapping just out of the water. I’m holding it like a baby, or a briefcase in a tornado. Really clutching it and trying to protect it. I feel like i’m hiding - but free in split seconds, almost simultaneously. I feel you in my arms, and then you are gone, and i’m half hidden under the wood slats of the boardwalk. My arms become empty - my knees to my chest replace this fish. And I peer up half

sometimes i am an apolitical, asexual, atheist asleep and dreaming of a forest where i am watching plants die

i am not going to pretend feelings it is not selfish to be true threats will not make me come back to you i am not a goal to achieve you cannot make me act lack of attention will not make me want you i am not constant; my feelings fluctuate you use powerful words and give me conditional love your tears won’t make me cross an ocean